HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE_WTF?!

First off, Let me apologize for leaving you dangling this past week. The internet is wide and vast and full and work has been busybusybusy. Honestly, my little fingers couldna take th' strain. So I had them replaced. And with these new tireless digits of blogging power I bring you:

The Registry

Rather, Microsoft brought you the registry way back with windows 3.11. The registry is a directory that stores information about pretty much everything installed on running on configured on your computer and even the users who use it (and the preferences there of). Just about everything is represented in some way shape or form in the registry. Almost every change involving the operation of your computer is logged in there. This glorious structure was brought about as an improvement on the way .ini files were kept all over the place. Now, instead of being stored wherever that information is all locked up (not so tight) in one location. And therein lies the benefit *and* the problem.


Editing your registry!
And why you shouldn't touch it with an 8 bit probe If you don't know what you're doing.

For being such a centralized hub of the innerworkings of your computer, the registry isnt locked up very tight. Administrators on your computers have it frighteningly easy when they want to get to and 'repair' your settings. Why is that bad? Honestly, how many of you make a distinction between your personal account and the administrator on your home computer? Go ahead and count hands, I'll wait. Let alone people who pop by for a visit and think they can tidy up your startup sequence with a little tweak here, a little tweak there. 'Hey, did you know I can change your splash graphic? Lemme just open your registry here...' The simple fact of the matter is - and this is important- You can screw things up really, really bad in your registry. Very few problems in tech support require you to format your computer. A lot of times, thats the easy/hard way out and technicians who want you out of their hair will suggest it, but 8 times out of 10 theres a long way that works just as well.

Messing up your registry is not like that.

You can go from 'great computer, savior of my bank account and the glue that binds my entire family together' to 'most expensive paperweight im likely to have thrown at me by my screeching soon to be ex-wife' in a short, short amount of time. It's repairing your daughters dental work with a chisel and a 10 pound sledgehammer. It's parking your Aston Martin with a bulldozer. (These, by the way, are not exagerations. Ask the nearest accessible screeching ex-wife you can find.)

But If you're feeling brave...

If you really want to give it a shot please re-read the previous paragraph aloud to your lawer and with your family present. Then, after signing the required forms, think about what changes you actually NEED to make. Keep in mind that most people only wander in the dangerous cave of forbidding doom that is the registry when something is wrong, and they've run out of other options to fix it. Find a hardhat and some tools you're comfortable working with, make a backup, get religious.

Tools you say?

Yes. Tools. Theres a few different ways to edit your registry. You can tinker manually using the software included with your Windows OS. You can crank up Regedit.exe (or Regedit32 if you're so inclined) and start a whackin. Theres also a few programs that makes edits to the registry through a shell, it offers a selection of preprogrammed niceness and lets you make additions to or subtractions from your registry with the relative safety of knowing something else is doing the typing. 'Registry Mechanic' and 'Hijack This!' come to mind. You can edit it from the command line if you feel really brave. reg.exe can be downloaded for every windows OS including XP and Vista, but it's included with those too. You programmers who might be reading for giggles will be happy to know "the registry can be edited through the APIs of the Advanced Windows 32 Base API Library (advapi32.dll)." Now, Im not a programmer so I leave all that well enough alone.

A few things before I close. Youll notice I didnt go into the structure of the registry, link to any programs to help you edit the registry, and I certainly did NOT recommend you make any changes whatsoever. Theres a reason. I have enough on my plate without having to worry about being assaulted by an angry teenager with a frapuccino because 'daddy' read my blog and turned their computer into a flowerpot. That being said, If you want to know a little about how your computer is setup and what makes it do the things it does, then peek around. Do some reading, learn some things.

Coming Soon:

Managing User Accounts!
A Vista review!
More pictures of cuddly animals!